Scissor cuts but a Kartari Kartayati

December 23, 2020

Writing after a long time or let's just say I was going through the writer’s block. An alert that this post contains many Hindi/Sanskrit words and some may be unfamiliar but that's fine, probably if you read till the end they won't be strange anymore.

The inspiration for this post comes from a chat with my nephew, niece. The word ‘कर्तनम्’ came as we were listening to a Sanskrit story. They know what कर्तरी is so I casually said ‘a scissor cuts but a कर्तरी (Kartari) कर्तयति (Kartayati)’.

By now you probably know what ‘कर्तरी’ and ‘कर्तनम्’ mean. ‘कर्तरि’ (Kartari) is an instrument for cutting. So a Scissor is ‘कर्तरी’. कर्तरी is also the name of a हस्तमुद्रा (hand-gesture) in Indian classical dance - कर्तरीमुख. This mudra is used to denote separation, death, opposition etc. in dance. Interestingly a similar gesture is used to denote victory which people often use while getting photographed or spoiling them to say the truth. What made me ponder more and more is that, by knowing one word, it is easy to know another one - knowing कर्तरी can give me some idea about कर्तयति without knowing too much about the context, knowing कर्तरी and मुख can help me know कर्तरीमुख. ‘Knowing’ here means that it is possible to form an image of the meaning in the mind without having to explain the 2 words in a particular context. If I know only ‘scissor’ then saying the word ‘cut’ won’t help me much without knowing additional context like a sentence where the two words are used.

If we see more, a comic book has pictures and illustrations but a चित्रकथा (comic) has चित्र. A photo and movie may not have much in common but a moving चित्र is indeed चलचित्र (movie). The books are found in the library but a पुस्तक in पुस्तकालय. The Giraffe is the animal with a long neck but दीर्घग्रीवः is the one with a दीर्घ (long) ग्रीवा (neck). A donkey is a donkey and a zebra is a zebra but a गर्दभः (donkey) can become चित्रगर्दभः (zebra) by drawing a little चित्र on it. Applying butter to a fly doesn’t turn it into a butterfly but adding चित्र to a पतङ्ग (fly) can make it look like चित्रपतङ्ग (butterfly). A mountain and a stone are not related and comparable in size but a शिलाखण्ड: (stone) is a खण्डः (part) of a शिला (mountain). A pen can write but the लेखनी for sure लिखति. A chair can be used to sit but आसन्दः (chair/seat) ददाति (gives) आसः (seat). A window may not bring air, but from the वातायनम्, वात: आयाति. Don’t know how many tires a cycle has but द्विचक्रिका has द्वे (2). The slippers might make one slip but पादत्राणम् protects (त्राणं) the feet (पाद). Glasses can sit anywhere but उपनेत्रम् sits close to नेत्रम् (eye). A handkerchief may be the chief of someplace but करवस्त्रम् is just a simple वस्त्रम्. One may have to do more to worship but only needs to take the उप (near) आसनम् (seat) to the lord for उपासना.

I feel like going on and on but hope you were able to relate to some of it. To me personally, anything written in Hindi and sometimes Sanskrit feels like somebody just added visual illustrations to an English story that was previously written in just plain text. Who doesn’t love pictures?

all errors are completely mine!

बुरा जो देखन मैं चला, बुरा न मिलिया कोय

जुलाई १४,  २०२० 

PC: freepik.com

बुरा जो देखन मैं चला, बुरा न मिलिया कोय।

जो मन खोजा अपना, तो मुझसे बुरा न कोय।।

वैसे तो यहीं लिखना रोक सकती हूँ क्योंकि जो लिखने जा रही हूँ वो संत कबीर दास जी ने इस दोहे में दो पंक्तियों में लिख दिया।

आज संस्कृत में लिखी एक रचना के बारे में लिख रही हूँ। श्री श्रीधर अय्यावल (तमिल नाडु के एक भक्त कवि) द्वारा विरचित ‘दोषपरिहाराष्टकम्’ नामक अष्टकम्। जैसा नाम से ही जाना जा सकता है - इस अष्टकम् में ८ श्लोक हैं। इस अष्टकम् का विषय ‘दोष’ और उसका निवारण है। यहाँ बात किसी साधारण दोष की नहीं हो रही है, रचयिता दूसरों में दोष ढूंढ़ने की मानव प्रकृत्ति का विवेचन कर रहे हैं।

ये श्लोक बहुत ही सुंदरता से वसंत तिलका छन्द में लिखे गए हैं। ये वही छन्द है जिसका प्रयोग ‘सुप्रभातम’ में हुआ है जिसे सुबह देवताओं को जगाने के लिए सुनाया जाता है। यहाँ वर्णित श्लोक भी कवि ने ईश्वर अनुग्रह पाने के लिए ही लिखे हैं अतः कहा जा सकता है कि इनका गान भी सुबह सुबह होना चाहिए।

कवि ने श्लोकों की रचना बड़ी ही चतुर शैली में की है जिसकी तुलना विष्णु शर्मा द्वारा रचित पंचतंत्र से की जा सकती है। पंचतंत्र की कहानियां तो आज सम्पूर्ण विश्व में विख्यात हैं। कहानियों को पशु जगत से पात्र लेकर लिखा गया है ताकि पढ़ते समय कहानियों के माध्यम से मानव आचरण की जिन प्रवृत्तियों को दर्शाया है उनसे पाठक को हीनता का अनुभव न हो। पशुओं के माध्यम से नैतिक मूल्यों को पाठक तक पहुँचाना भी सरल हो गया होगा अन्यथा तो पढ़ने वाले आधे में ही भाग खड़े होते।

इस अष्टकम् में भी कवि ने दोष ढूंढ़ने की प्रवृत्ति को केवल अपने माध्यम से ही, अन्य किसी पर आक्षेप न करते हुए प्रस्तुत किया है। यदि उन्होंने अन्य लोगों को अपनी रचना का पात्र बनाया होता तो शायद रचना अपने शीर्षक पर खरी न उतरती और दोष ढूंढ़ने की ही रचना बन जाती। सत्य तो यह है कि दोष ढूंढ़ने की मानव प्रकृत्ति उसके अज्ञान का एक परिणाम है। अधिकतर दूसरों में ढूंढे गए दोष खुद के अज्ञान कारणवश जनित विपर्यय का दूसरे पर अध्यारोपण होते हैं।

कवि ईश्वर अनुग्रह की प्रार्थना कर रहे हैं ताकि अपनी अन्य लोगों के दोषों की गणना करने की अपनी इस प्रवृत्ति से निवृत्ति पा सकें। यहाँ मैं उनके द्वारा लिखे श्लोकों का शब्दशः विवरण न करते हुए उन्ही की शैली में कुछ मुख्य तथ्यों को लिख रही हूँ।

प्रथम श्लोक की तुलना तो सीधे तर्जनी से की जा सकती है। जैसे तर्जनी ये भूल जाती है कि दूसरे की ओर मुख करते समय उसकी बाकी सखियाँ उसके अपने स्वामी की ओर देख रही होती हैं। कवि के अनुसार दोष ढूंढ़ने का उनका ये कौतुक उनके अपने ही दोषपूर्ण होने का आविष्कार करता है। वे बड़ी ही चतुराई से इसे तर्क पूर्वक सिद्ध भी करते हैं। यदि ‘सर्वं खल्विदं ब्रह्म’ से सब कुछ ही वह (‘ईश्वर’) है, और मैं उसी में दोष ढूंढ रहा हूँ तो निश्चयेन दोष मेरे ही अंदर होगा - भला उस ईश्वर में दोष कैसे हो सकता है?

मेरी दोष ढूंढ़ने की कला से मेरे अपने दोष ही सतह पर आते हैं, दोष ढूँढ़ते समय मैं आखिर दिखता कैसा हूँ? इस पर उन्होंने गंदगी में लोटते एक सूअर की कल्पना की है जिसे कीचड़ में रहना पसंद होता है। कीचड़ का उपयोग करके भी कैसी सुन्दर कल्पना की जा सकती है ये आप सोचें।

दोषगणना किन स्थितियों में की जा सकती है इस पर वो ३ स्थल गिनाते हैं जहाँ दोष गिना जा सकता है परन्तु वो फिर भी दोष ना ही ढूंढ़ने का सुझाव देते हैं। ये ३ परिस्थितियां हैं -

१. जब कोई आप पर अपने विकास के लिए निर्भर हो जैसे शिष्य या संतान
२. जब कोई अपनी उन्नति के लिए आपसे अपने दोष पूछे
३. जब कोई इतनी निम्न दशा में हो (व्यसनातुर) कि उसके दोष उसे गिनाने से वो उस व्यसन से बाहर आ जाये

मेरी मानें तो ना ही गिनें दोष या फिर कवच धारण कर के ही ऐसा करें।

यदि इतना समझने के बाद भी दोष ढूंढ़ने की इच्छा हो तो क्या करें? यहाँ पतञ्जलि योग सूत्र के एक प्रमुख सूत्र को भी लिखा जा सकता है - वितर्कबाधने प्रतिपक्षभावनम् (जब अनुपयुक्त विचार बाधा डालें तो उन्हें विपरीत विचारों से निरस्त करना चाहिए)। कवि इसके लिए एक और सुन्दर उपमा देते हैं। अपनी दोष गणना करने की प्रवृत्ति से छुटकारा पाने के लिए मुझे दूसरों में अच्छाई ढूंढनी चाहिए जिससे वैसा ही आनंद मिलेगा जैसा एक भौरें को कमल के फूल की सुगंध लेने से मिलता है।

कवि की कल्पना से प्रेरित होकर मेरी कल्पना शक्ति भी जाग गयी। दोषगणना से साधुत्व देखने का ये दृष्टि परिवर्तन मुझे ऐसा लगा जैसे तर्जनी ज्ञानमुद्रा में परिवर्तित हो गयी हो। जहाँ तर्जनी दूसरों की ओर संकेत करती थी अब वही तर्जनी झुक कर दूसरों की प्रशंसा करती लग रही है। आजकल की व्हाट्सऍप-फेसबुक की दुनिया में इन हस्तकलाओं का प्रयोग करना भी बहुत ही सरल हो गया है।

Fair Isn't Lovely Anymore

जून २५, २०२०

Image from freepik.com

आखिर दशकों बाद अब अमेरिका में हुए जातीय भेदभाव की घटनाओं और ‘Black Lives Matter’ आंदोलन के चलते हिंदुस्तान यूनिलीवर को ये समझ आ गया कि गोरापन सुंदरता का मानक नहीं होता। 'Fair', 'Whitening', 'Lightening' क्रीम जैसे उत्पादों ने भारत में चुपचाप रह कर रंगभेद की आग सालों से सुलगाई है। अब जाकर यूनिलीवर ने ‘Fair & Lovely’ से ‘Fair’ हटाने का निर्णय लिया है। उनके अनुसार वो अब सुंदरता के विविध रूपों को मान देने में अग्रणी भूमिका निभाना चाहते हैं। अकल चरने गयी थी शायद जो भारत में सुंदरता के विविध रूप अब याद आए। आश्चर्य ये है कि अभी भी क्रीम बेचना बंद नहीं करेंगे। 

मैंने ‘Fair & Lovely’ का नाम बचपन से सुना है। सोच रही हूँ घर में शायद आर्थिक तंगी रही होगी वरना हमारी माँ भी ‘Fair & Lovely’ छोड़ दही-हल्दी-बेसन से हमारा रंग न निखारती। एक बार स्कूल के एक कार्यक्रम में मुझे कृष्ण की भूमिका निभानी थी। हमारी शिक्षिका ने आकर अवलोकन किया कि बच्चों ने कुछ श्रृंगार नहीं किया है और हमारे मुँह पर कहीं से लायी ढेर सारी Fair & Lovely क्रीम लगा दी। उसी दिन गोरेपन की गंध कैसी होती है ये पता चला। आज भी सोचती हूँ कि उन्होंने कृष्ण को गोरा बनाने की कोशिश ही क्यों की? 

गोरी चमड़ी का सदियों पुराना प्यार आज भी है शत प्रतिशत बरकरार। पहले केवल एक Fair & Lovely थी पर पिछले दशक में स्थिति यहां पहुंची है कि अब Lakme, Nivea जैसे नामों के whitening version भी बाज़ार में उतर चुके हैं। दोष किसका? गोरों के शासन का या पश्चिम को श्रेष्ठ मानने की विचारधारा का? हर उन माता-पिता का जो आज भी अपने सांवले बेटा/बेटी (?) के लिए गोरे जीवनसाथी की ही अपेक्षा रखते हैं या उस समाज का जो निरंतर गोरेपन को गुणों की खान मान सराहता है?

सौन्दर्य-प्रसाधन का ये व्यापार एकांत में नहीं पलता है। बाहर काले कृष्ण और वेंकटेश्वर की पूजा करने के बाद मन से गोरे रंग के पीछे भागने को पाखण्ड नहीं तो और क्या कहेंगे? 

Asteya in the Current Times

March 15, 2020

Niece accidentally painted Coronavirus!

The world is going through a tough time. How did we end up here?

Even though we are all socially distant (or more socially connected virtually?), no one is quite alone in it. It feels like we have been given the time to slow down, to sit at home longer so this could very well be a reflecting moment. Could we see this as a time to meditate on what we could do differently?

If you are connected to the world through any of the social media - Facebook, WhatsApp, etc., you have probably heard about or seen empty shelves in stores, people in line with carts waiting outside of big departmental stores, the inability to find hand soap, sanitizers, and other such essentials, etc at least in the America.

A well-wisher and friend called up to remind me to buy some essentials to keep myself equipped in case of need. Toilet paper, groceries were among the few that I was told to buy. I had been hearing about stockpiling and the shortage of essentials from my co-workers. It did make me think about what I needed to do.

I had a ‘wait a minute moment’ while I was thinking about what and if I need to get anything. I made a list of all the things I eat on any normal day and the list could fit in the top half of a small sticky note. Then came the question of do I need toilet paper? Almost 6 years ago, I installed bidet in the toilet to get back to my Indian standards. Since then the toilet papers are there for my guests and at this time, my guests are probably busy buying their own toilet papers.

Looking at my $10 bill at the Indian store during the last visit, the guy behind the billing counter mentioned that people are hoarding groceries worth $600. There was a sadness and a sense of worry on his face. I heard that the stores are now doing rationing. I bought some potatoes and taro root, both of which can last long. Coincidently later my mother mentioned how their neighbors asked them to buy some potatoes and kerosene oil after a flood warning long back - Potatoes to eat and Kerosene oil to light the stove.

So where is the need to stockpile coming from? It could very well be pointed to the self-preservation instinct or fear of death in a negative form. Self-preservation makes one buy the things one might need for a few weeks if one needs to quarantine themselves, but going overboard with it becomes hoarding, a natural outcome of ignorance.

I could relate it to what Patanjali says as the five Kleshas (क्लेशा:), afflictions or causes of suffering for human beings.

अविद्यास्मितारागद्वेषाभिनिवेशाः क्लेशाः॥2.3॥

Ignorance, egoism, attachment, hatred (aversion), and clinging to life are the five kleshas or state of a suffering mind.

अभिनिवेश (clinging to life) is the last one and deeply rooted in every human being.

The hoarding can be described in two ways, one gross and the other subtle: Parigrah (परिग्रह - possessing or grasping unnecessary) and Steya (स्तेय - stealing). Accumulating goods simply is possessing more than one needs. When one hoard, they are not just possessing it but also subtly stealing something from others who could very well make use of it. By possessing more, one contributes to raising the prices and even making things unavailable for others to use.

The opposite of Parigrah and Steya are Aparigrah (अपरिग्रह - non-possessiveness) and Asteya (अस्तेय - non-stealing) respectively - two of the five Yamas of Ashtanga Yoga. Yamas are the first of the eight angas (limbs) in Patanjali’s Ashtanga Yoga and described as self-regulating behavior in our interactions with the world. Patanjali gives assurance that if Asteya is followed, all ‘wealth’ will be available.

अस्तेयप्रतिष्ठायां सर्वरत्नोपस्थानम् ॥2.37 ||

To the one who is established in non-stealing, all wealth comes.

On a positive note, I see people coming forward to help and share in my neighborhood. Young folks have created virtual groups to help the elderly by bringing groceries to their door so they can avoid the fear of catching anything.

While it may appear like a difficult task to follow Asteya, one doesn’t need to go to a yoga class to practice it!

When I got caught by the Police

December 30, 2019

In the rearview mirror!

This is a real-life story and I am sure many can relate to this. It used to be an embarrassing incident but since then has turned into a funny story and had inspired a few others in a similar situation. A number of us dealt with that initial anxiety caused by the thought of having to drive, specifically on highways. 

Do you know that driving on highways is one of the most common causes of anxiety? Its phobia version also has a name - Vehophobia.

I lived in California for about a year and a half without owning a car in the times when services like Uber and Lyft didn't exist. I relied on public transport to the extent that I was teased that I always needed to find a rental place next to the train station. After getting a valid license to drive, I finally bought a Car. 

It was 2011, a year after I had bought a red ferrari (aka car) and was actually driving everywhere but with a catch - I had not gone onto freeway alone ever. Every route would usually involve some highway in between, it was a bit tough for me to use it and not end up on the highway. To be my lazy self, I had turned the ‘Avoid highway’ option 'on' in the Garmin GPS device that I had, which meant that it’s going to show only the routes that go through internal city roads. Google Maps is smarter but these devices weren't.

Having survived two layoffs at Adobe during the downturn of 2009-2010, I was in the process of finding a new job. I was appearing for an onsite interview with a company in San Mateo, very close to my house. Almost all of us have some stress before interviews, presentations, etc. and I am no different. I took my car to get to the interview location. I was using my GPS navigator. There was a left turn that needed to be made to drive into the company's parking lot and I missed that!

The lane I was on became ‘Left only’ with a ‘No U-Turn’
 sign. Then the ‘Left only’ lane turned ‘Freeway only’. What more could I expect? It was like some conspiracy against me. My single shot ‘stresspresso’
 turned into a double shot one in no moment - the interview stress and the add-on of ‘I have no clue where am I supposed to go’. 

Remember my non-smart GPS device was on ‘avoid highway’ mode so it stopped telling me any route to get to my destination. The ‘stresspresso’ kicked in and I stopped my car on the side of the freeway entrance which had quite a lot of parking space but was neither a legal nor a safe place to park. 

Trying to find my route back through the dumb GPS device, I was just parked there when I saw the Police car behind me. The policeman came to my window and knocked. I rolled down the window and he said, “Mam, do not come out of the car. Why are you stopped here?”. I told him what had happened and that I was trying to find my way back and I was not comfortable going onto the highway.

We continued to talk through the window. Usually one won't be happy being interrogated by a Police officer but I was relieved that he came and asked. He understood my genuine concern and offered to help.

He said, “I will help you get onto the highway and take the exit”. He took out his loudspeaker and told me to follow him. 
“Look over your shoulder, merge with the traffic ….. take the next exit”, were the words before the man and his voice both disappeared. 

I got to the interview and also got the job offer, though I didn’t end up joining that company.

The 'No U-Turn' sign from that experience remained in my head. After that on a weekend, I decided that it’s going to be a do or die day. I will go onto the freeway and either will get rid of this limitation once and for all or won’t return home. I took the car, got on to Highway 101 and drove from San Mateo to Mountain View just to buy groceries at the Milk Pail Market. Since then I haven’t looked back. I also stopped relying on GPS and trust my mental map and navigation more than the smart maps now. 

Fear of missing the highway exits and not being able to find my way back was probably the primary cause of not wanting to drive on freeway. I dealt with the issue by using Google street view beforehand to familiarize myself with the route and exits. I left the other silent concern of 'who will be in trouble if I accidentally end up in a hospital?' aside.

I also reminded myself that the appearance of fear is a false evidence. Fear, after all, is False Evidence Appearing Real. 

Since then, this incident has become a fun story and every time I shared it, someone would quote either themselves or their friends who still don’t consider driving on the highway. Just recently, a coworker who had recently moved from another country and was in the process of learning to drive here and get a license mentioned that they are still learning and aren’t yet comfortable. Everyone else in that lunch group started sharing their embarrassing yet funny driving stories. 

Hopefully, this story will inspire someone to get past their fear of driving and not take it on themselves, it is a genuine and well known area of concern among many people. And I am glad that my so far the only encounter with the Police was a pleasant one. 

Until next year... 

Listen! Don't try everything in English

I mentor a young schoolgirl in India. We do video calls once a week and during that time I can either help her with anything that she needs help with or I will make her do some exercises. I was told she needs help with English so I focus on English. Frankly speaking, I was a bit conflicted inside that do I want to teach English. I was also told that these kids don't have people in their family who can help them. A whispering voice came from inside, "can you keep your ideologies aside and focus on the need of the hour?". Often we don’t realize that the little time we give to someone can mean so much to them. Let’s call this girl ‘Radhika’ for our conversation. She is in 10th std.

Radhika would ping me on our defined day with a WhatsApp message ‘Hi mam, today is my skype’ which often makes me laugh as I am not used to hearing mam and we don’t end up using skype. My initial impressions about Radhika was that she is a smart and fearless girl. Initially, I was supposed to talk to her in English so that she gets comfortable conversing in English but I decided not to do that and since she understands decent Hindi, we communicate in Hindi. 

In one of our chats, I asked Radhika if she had any specific topic she would like help with. She did come up with a topic - direct and indirect speech. I don't remember learning anything in school since it had been so many years. I explained to her how to convert direct to indirect speech in Hindi. I wanted to avoid just telling the general grammar rules as her teacher might have already done that. Imagine explaining direct and indirect speech in English when your explanation itself will have those. We did a few examples and then she had to rush to school. Before we hung up, I asked her if this was helpful to her. She said, “this was very helpful”. Since then I have seen her improve in the homework.

The next time I asked Radhika the same question, “do you have any specific topics you need help with today?”. "No", she said so I had to come up with a task for her. I made her read a story of a few pages from her textbook to see her level of comprehension. While she had a regional accent, her comprehension was good. I noticed that she has a habit of eating words. She would eat some of the articles (‘a’, ‘the’), interchange them or twist and make new words while in a hurry. I stopped and corrected her every time she did that. Then there was a phrase in one of the sentences - ‘part and parcel’. I asked her if she understood what that means. She read it as ‘part’ and ate ‘the parcel’. I said, "can you explain the meaning of the phrase to me?". To my surprise, instead of coming up with a verbose explanation in English she said ‘अविभाज्य अंग’. Next, there was the phrase ‘new dimension’. And she was quick to say ‘दृष्टिकोण’. Her textbook has English meanings of these phrases. I was so happy as she reminded me of myself during school and my love for the तत्सम words. By now I had guessed that Radhika is strong in Hindi. I was curious if she studies Sanskrit as a subject in school as Hindi isn’t her mother tongue. She smiled and said, “no”. I asked her why she smiled. I thought she might say what will one do with Sanskrit. But she said, “Sanskrit is hard to learn”. I didn’t say much and we moved on to reading the next paragraph. 

Why am I writing about her? Of course, she reminded me of my old days and brought a smile. But more than that I wanted to write about the overly hyped need for English speaking. There are other more dangerous things than not being able to speak in English, like making it mandatory to speak in English in schools, teaching in English when the kids don't know that language, thinking that getting educated in English medium is the only way to get a job, taking English fluency to be a sign of intelligence. Humans are born with a sense of inadequacy and if one is made to feel inadequate because one isn't proficient in a foreign language, it can't be anything other than a disaster.

While the listening, speaking, reading, writing order is probably good for learning one's mother tongue, it seems the reading, writing, comprehending, speaking may be better suited for learning a second language that English is. There is a fundamental difference when one learns something in their mother tongue versus when it is taught in a language that isn't their first language. It is much easier to learn a concept if it's explained in one’s mother tongue or a language close to that. It's also not important to fluently speak in English to feel confident. As long as one can read, write, comprehend it, that fulfills the purpose of learning English for most kids in India. One can get used to converse over time. It would be a bit worrisome to not be able to speak in your mother tongue but that doesn’t apply to other languages.

I don’t know where this girl will go but I do see the potential and the confidence in her. I hope I would be able to influence her fluency in the subtleties of life more than her fluency in English.

Laugh at your own risk

(scene from an Indian Railway compartment, people who don't like middle berth sometimes occupy someone else's berth and don't want to give it to the actual ticket holder)