The 11th C

March 5, 2020

Central Park, New York

The airplane doors closed, the pilot gave a warm welcome, the flight attendant made sure both Hindi and English speaking passengers understood how to fasten the seatbelt and that if the air pressure in the cabin changes dramatically, it’s ok to be selfish and save your life first. The airplane quickly cut through the clouds and floated in the air for the next 3 hours before touching the ground at the Lucknow airport. I have been to Lucknow many times, but this was the first time I landed at the Lucknow airport.

Lucknow, the City of Nawabs, is associated with many of my childhood memories. During the few days in Lucknow last year, I got an invitation to be part of Sham-e-Awadh - annual function at my nephew's school. The chief guest for the day was Mr. Shomie Das, a former teacher, Principal and an Education consultant who previously also served as headmaster of The Doon School, Dehradun. His speech was targeted towards the parents in the hall and focused on how to prepare the kids for the world that is full of options at every stage whether it's choice for food or school, career, life partner, place to live, etc.

He mentioned these 10 qualities (10Cs as he called them) that the kids today will benefit from as humans and citizens. There were a few in it that resonated with me instantly. He wasn’t focused on how and what to do so that the kids become the 'best' in the world. The 10 Cs he mentioned are:

Creativity, Curiosity, Critical thinking, Communication, Choice, Courtesy, Collaboration, Candid, Citizenship, Compassion

The need for compassion (unconditional acceptance) - दया, करुणा was spot on. The constant lack of harmony can be improved if there is more empathy and compassion. The same principle applies to any area of life be it personal or professional.

Sage Patanjali mentions करुणा as a key factor if one wants to be happy with oneself. This is one where I feel that adults need to learn more than the kids.

मैत्रीकरुणामुदितोपेक्षाणां सुखदुःखपुण्यापुण्यविषयाणां भावनातः चित्तप्रसादनम् ॥1.33॥

(One can cultivate a peaceful mind by being friendly towards happy people, compassionate towards the ones who are suffering, delighted with those who are virtuous, and undisturbed by those who are harming.)

The world has moved from being a place that more or less felt secure to a constant place of competition. In the olden days, people knew what they were going to do when they grow up - learn some occupational skills from their parents and follow the same profession. It isn't the same anymore, one is forced to think about what they want to ‘become’ from childhood. I joke about how my grandfather made the mistake of not forcing his kids to follow what he did for a living and for that reason we are out and away from the serenity of our home in India.

It seems essential to have more compassion than the competition in the current world. Compassion helps lower the insecurity around. One can’t make good choices in life without having compassion for oneself and others.

Collaboration and citizenship are other elements that are much needed in the current state of the world. Even though Competition and Collaboration both start with C, Collaboration requires one to look at the common goal whereas competition forces one to look at other people and compare.

I felt there is an important C that is not in the list. I want to end this note with my 11th ‘C’. Concede - Surrender, Ishwara Pranidhana (ईश्वर-प्रणिधान), Ishwara Prasada Buddhi (ईश्वर-प्रसाद-बुद्धि). While life will be full of choices, one will encounter choiceless situations more than the choices. Choice in actions is essential but one has no choice or control on the results. The seed sown in a well-plowed land may not necessarily bear a good crop. At that point, this 11th ‘C’ will be most useful - acceptance with Grace!